Cute Teething Kitten Gnawing on His Paws
April 25, 2012Google Play Distributing Deadstar Assembly
August 15, 2012I’ve been fighting strong. Letting anger and resentment get the best of me. My hatred for what has happened, what I allowed to happen, for all of the emotions involved. It’s gotten the best of me. I feel like I’m fighting for something that once was and no longer is. I’m doing my best to keep my cool, no matter how many medications it takes to keep me calm. Love is supposed to be two fold. I gave you kisses, you refused them. I tried to hug you, you push me away. You tell me I’m irritating when I try to be cute and show you how much I care about you and how much love I have for you. I fight and fight and fight for this hopeless dream that you’ll come back to feeling the way you once did. The butterflies you gave me, I used to call them moths. They fluttered out the flame inside me only for the fear that I would loose you. I did all I could. I’m still here, begging and pleading. Wishing you would give me an ounce of respect and love as I give it back to you ten fold. I’ve lost so many tears, blood, and emotions for you. And for what? To be ignored? To be told I’m an annoyance or overbearing. Love isn’t over bearing. It’s unconditional. The compassion I have for you, the things I’ve laid on the line for you. I feel like none of it mattered. you swore to me things I choose to believe on a daily basis and yet this apathy grows colder and fonder. Do what you will. I’ll always be here. Friends, maybe not. Lovers, Always. I can’t be on my knees anymore. The ball is in your court. I’ve laid it all on the line for you. Now it’s your turn to give back. If you’re not ready for it, Then so be it. It kills me deeply and hurts more than I’ve ever been destroyed in my entire life. I gave you my whole heart. Every piece of my soul. I’ve been waiting for you to split it in half and hand me back what I thought you would share with me. But you choose to keep it all to yourself. It’s about the both of us, not just one sided. But it’s become one sided. You have your reasons, I have my Regrets. You have your mistakes, And I’ve chosen to forgive what I once thought was unforgivable. And yet here I lie and wait for the day you’ll realize, the best thing you could have ever had is turning apathetic. If you need me, you know where to find me. As long as it’s not too late. It’s not yet. But it will be soon. Once the Apathy runs through my veins deeply into my heart, it’ll grow cold and black and there’s no turning back. I know me. And I’m here. Waiting on this last chance of hope… Your Move. Choose it wisely.
1 Comment
It’s horrible to see that you feel like that. I wish I could get a plane right now and hug you (: You’re an awesome guy with a great heart. I hope you get to feel better soon. Writing what we feel is a nice out-lid. (:
So, since I’m in Brazil imagine I’m giving a virtual hug <3