Peter Pepper Valentine’s Day Video Release
January 31, 2011Deadstar Assembly Florida Tour w/ Combichrist, iVardensphere, & StarKiller
April 1, 2011I’m sitting outside right now, having a smoke. I’m disappointed. All I can think of is how did things end up the way they are today. I’ve realized and been told many times that I’m a good person. Someone who’s honest, down to earth, and a great friend to those who know me the best. I’ve always done my best to be there for people who need me. I’ve tried so hard to please the ones who I felt deserved it. Yet I sit here, feeling used. I feel like the nicer and more genuine I’ve become, the more shit I go through. People are very quick to take advantage of me every chance they get. A very select amount of people get better treatment from me than myself. So why am I sitting here feeling like this?
Before when I didn’t give a shit about anyone but myself, more people were apt to do anything they could to be a part of my life. Now people sell me out, use me, and make me feel like I don’t matter to them as much as I did in the past. But why? Because I’m nicer? More giving? Why do people strive on negativity? Why does it take a man being an asshole for others to pay attention to him?
I feel like all of this is so backwards today. Inside out and upside down. What happened to people being real? Being able to feel, and smile, and have a good time without expecting anything in return but being able to go to bed at night knowing you’ve just had a great day.
Today going to bed at night warrants feelings of acceptance if you were to avoid waking up the next morning.
Smile, appreciate the ones that treat you well, show them your appreciation. Stop just taking taking taking. My soul, my care and love. It means something. If not to you, it does to me. And that should matter.
29 Comments
Hmnnn….sir Dro…you have LOTS of friends and family that care about you..I think you are looking in the wrong places for acceptance..You are a beautiful creature with a loving heart..Let the bad go and someone extraordinary will come to you my dear friend! =o)
Dro I can say this from my own personal experiance everything you wrote was exactly like me then again it’s still the way I feel. Just know that those who do know you best and that you know are going to be there for you no matter what will always have your back. my friends have been through hell and back cuz of me and belive me the fact they’re still around is what a true friend would do. You may feel used now but I know that you will not in the near future. Keep your head up Dro!
<3
I don’t know you all that well and I don’t know when you considered yourself an asshole, but even back when I was a 14 year old fan girl I thought you were awesome. Of course now that I’ve grown up I realized that instead of think you were cool b/c of your status now I think your cool because you are genuine. Anyone who has as many pets as you do and takes care of them the way you do can not be bad person. I know exactly how you feel about being used and abused. It seems to be so prevalent down here in south fla. that people are looking to take advantage of other people with good honest caring hearts. Keep your head up Dro, don’t let the bad apples spoil who you are. Take care, stay well. ~Chrissy
*hugs* I felt like you needed one. 🙂
@Dro: It’s almost like you kinda stole this right out of my head. I have the exact same problem. I’m a “nice guy” towards the people who deserve it and I just get taken for it. In recent years, I’ve given up on people except for the very few who are left that mean something to me. Recently, when I was diagnosed with cancer, people who always ignored me came up and acted like they gave a shit. It’s sickening. People have always been self-serving, manipulative, and vicious in nature and that will never change.
My advice? (Not that you were asking.) Continue to love and respect those that deserve it, but watch your back. Don’t trust others so easily. This isn’t necessarily the same as “losing faith in people” like Georgette said, but it is about not being a sucker.
You are an awesome guy Dro. Don’t be taken for a sucker.
Yeah, don’t be like me and allow people to walk over you. (Cause that’s what happens with me) you’re a good person don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. 🙂 Heck at first before I met ya I didn’t really know you guys that well and Jayson told me how nice you guys are and you know what, he’s right and to see those people use you its wrong so ignore them, Dro. They’re jealous I think cause you got a lot of nice people on here who cares about you and awesome pets who NEVER leaves your side.
Do Not Lose Faith in people.
People Are Good and bad part of Everything in this world Would Be Boring Without Them … Continue with your life, and always will, people in and out of your life, What you really only want to stay.
This is a reason why I quit my job. My boss and their bosses were constantly treating me like shit when I worked my ass off. They made up lies to get me into trouble so I stood my ground and shown them what I won’t let myself put up with. You should do the same for every aspect of your life. Take control.
aw I know how you feel, Dro I feel like that sometimes too like when I’m nice to someone they be rude to me too (like recently on saturday, I made this person a nice siggy and avvie for their character on a forum we’re in and they said it was blurry and stuff and in a way they said “I’m not using it cause its not perfect” which I think is the vibe from it so I feel hurt actually). But you know never let those who have used you get to you. You’re a great person and more better than they are and like you said, always smile 🙂
Welcome to Hell… I mean South Florida. So much surface dirt.
Dro u are the best friend in the world and u make the best music i know. u are their people.
If there is anything I can do for you, I’m only a few counties away, and I sincerely mean that!
Dro, you have helped me more than you’ll even know, and for that I’m forever grateful! Just from you Wise words…….
To steal a line from a song. “The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care.”
I relate to what you’re saying. I’ve always thought u were a good dude. The more you feel, the more you notice others. The less you feel, the more others notice you. I think you have a good energy and perhaps a lot of empty people are drawn to the energy to fill themselves up. When you are as uncaring or unawake as the other person it’s easy to knowingly or unknowingly feed of of eachother’s energies. Once you start noticing, others start draining you but they still don’t notice, and you only grow weaker as they continue to take.
I like you because you are a caring, genuine person and I hope you stay that way. Grow from every situation good or bad. Every situation is good AND bad depending on perspective anyway. Shades of grey.
I’m not sure if what some of this stuff ^^ that I say makes sense or applies it kind of comes out of me from I-don’t-know-where. I’m bummed to know that you’re bummed, but happy because since I care about you, I know that you are cared for. 🙂
Beatifully written though, seems to be a recurring cycle these days lol. I had fun when i saw u guys at groundzero in sc, im in wa state now where theres more punk than what ive seen in florida lol.
Theyll learn their lesson when they get old n realize that whatever monetary substance or title they clung to was never even theirs to begin with “players come n go in the game of life” and realized they wasted their life chasing after things that dont really matter when it comes to happiness and prosperity. U seem to know whats best for u, try to better see what kind of people u surround yourself with. I know you will find great companions to help u along ur journey, u just have not found them yet, not all who wander are lost.
Loved the blog… It’s the downgrade of society, just like everything else, dumber people, dumber products, dumber friendships, dumber everything. It’s pretty sad when analyzed in depth… the simple things in life are harder to appreciate via friends and just mutually in general… your not alone w/ that feeling though, trust.
I think when you act like you don’t care about people, they strive for your acceptance and hold you in higher regard. Once you show them that you’re just a nice down to earth guy, they can take advantage of you.
ill admit this is the first of your blogs ive read. not a big blog reader. but..are you ok?? if ya ever need to talk ya got my number :p
Welcome to reality,
it sucks,huh?…
i feel the exact same way dood. remember, u have a friend with me.
Just want to thank you for posting that… If it means anything it meant a lot to be able to read that when I’m feeling down. Thank you and dont let anyone get you down!!
Exactly how I’ve been feeling lately! :-/
Get out of my head ! I <3 ya dude … I know , I should be asleep … anyway , ya know I'm there for you when ya need me . Stay true .
~R~
Not everyone is evil. and so long as you can remember to try and find the good that exists in the bad things that happen, you can never lose your soul. sorry you seem to be having shit luck with people. People can be shady. No one will disagree with you there. certainly not me. But as long as you continue to be true, those who truly appreciate you will never falter from your side. And if they do, they were never really true in the first place. Things will get better dear. They always do. Sometimes you have to go thru the bitter to get to truly appreciate the better later. Stay well.
Nice site btw. lol. <3
To constantly give with no ask to receive, is a trait that not many people in this world have, Dro.
You, my friend, are special. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.